Help Wanted!

I just got an email from Christy with a subject line "duck". Who is Christy and what does she want from me? Just last week I got one from Susan with a subject line "indifferent". I can not possibly help all of these people. It is difficult to make these kinds of choices when you are a superhero. There are certain people that need my help more than others. Lloyd sent me an email that said "device", and poor Morgan with "cautious dachshund", but it is difficult to pay attention to them when Susannah sent me "Notoriously Rag Doll" not two days ago. I don't have time for this! I called my mother on the telephone and told her I was feeling ill. She said to hire a sidekick, doesn't every superhero have one?
If you want to apply to be my sidekick email me at cigaretteburngirl@gmail.com. and tell me what makes you think you're so great and why I should even consider being in the same room with you.