I'm a superhero who burns people with cigarette butts. I only burn people who are already having a bad day so they can blame me for it, that's why I'm a hero. When I am done burning people I sit down and I cross my legs and I wink, sometimes I eat a cookie. When I stay home the world gets cranky. I have a nemesis. His name is Hank. Read all about me! Cigarette Burn Girl!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

New Developments

Extra! Extra! This just in! Hank has a sidekick! I saw him today walking quickly under an umbrella next to a tiny fat pink man with a round chin and eyes shaped like spoons. He was wearing cowboy boots and had a cape that was too long so he kept tripping over it, and then he would look behind him and say "who's there?" They stopped to buy ice cream cones and the pink man ate each scoop in one bite. Then he looked sharply at the sun and said "Stop sparkling!" I followed them to the park and Hank pushed the man on the swings. Then they did pushups. Then Hank blew a whistle while the man ran in place and his fat jiggled. Afterwards Hank clapped and it made the sound of bubble wrap and then they gave each other a high five. I think they are practicing to defeat me!

I am so lonely without a sidekick. Please email me at cigaretteburngirl@gmail.com or leave a comment with your qualifications.

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