My drive home was filled with visions of Hank and Vandido working together to ruin my life. Could it be possible that Hank was building an army? The smoldering ash from my Hopscotch burnt a hole in my fingernail and sent me swerving off the road.
As I waited for Hemophilia Towing Company to arrive and save the day, I flipped through the pages of Shelly Vonavier's "masterpiece," No You Can't. The first entry contained the following instructions:
It is important to never get upset. If you do get upset, it is important to punish yourself for your feelings. Try grating the palm of your hand with a cheese grater or stuffing hamburgers up your nose.
If Hank subscribed to this method of "self-help," I worried to think what his ultimate goal was for the world. Did he seek to punish the people I sought to help? And if so, what would this do for our hypothetical relationship?
Obviously, the only thing I could think of to do was to capture and interrogate Mr. Flup.
