Clues

Despite my failure to retrieve any information at Hush, I still had one clue left to go on- the address on the driver's license. I parked a block away and stupidly left my car underneath a weeping willow. The house was a mint green color that reminded me of dirty toothpaste around my bathroom sink. There was a "For Sale" sign planted crookedly in the front yard and the house was completely bare. Dead end, I thought, but reached for the doorknob anyway. I'm not the type of girl to let something like a lock stand in my way, nor am I the type to be able to pick a lock, but I am the type to break a window. When I walked in the front door, a small package sat glaring at me in the foyer, wrapped in snowman paper. I tore the paper off and saw the partially revealed cover of Hank's favorite self-help book, titled No You Can't, a guide for punishing one's self. I am not the type of girl to believe in coincidences. On the inside of the cover I found a note from the author:

Victor,
A neverending bad day for you.
Shelly Vonavier

Bar Hopping

Sick of waking up in the middle of the night wondering if someone was outside my house and needing a beer, I decided to show Victor Vandido's picture around the local bars. Hush was widely known for housing some disturbing characters late into the night, so I started there. Lighting two hopscotches on my way there, I heard a familiar laugh behind me. I turned around and saw Mr. Flup and a skinny redhead walking arm in arm down the black carpeted sidewalk. The booming bass coming from inside Hush made Mr. Flup begin to walk in rhythm. I felt more alone than ever as they passed me by, not even bothering to recognize me as a threat. In my head I thought of the cigarette fireworks display I put on during a prison baseball game resulting in third degree burns on 7 out of the 10 victims, who of course woke up relieved and eager to turn their lives around. Inside Hush, the bartender, Tommy, called me over to him, spilling everywhere.
"You better be careful," he told me quickly, "I saw Hank going into the men's room earlier. I think the pink fellow is here too, what's his name?"
"Seems like business is good."
"Oh yeah," he said, "Just look at the celebrities!" he pointed at the wall behind him which contained photos of most of the cast of Everyday Heros, a show about firemen. "Oh sorry," he said. "I didn't mean to insult you."
"Have you seen this man?" I said, showing him Victor Vandido's driver's license.
"No, I think I would remember him. Curious, does he have a face?"
"He won't when I'm done with him."
"What?"
"I'll have wine. Blue." (fictional world)
Just then, Hank stumbled out of the men's room onto the dance floor, his plastic feet sliding on the spilled beer. Mr. Flup hurried over to offer him a shoulder, causing both of them to tip over. To my utter surprise, Hank began weeping. The crowd formed a circle around him as he pointed directionless into the air screaming "I'll get you, Vandido!" I snuck out the back, reflecting on the night's events. Was it possible that Victor Vandido was insulting Hank with his kind words? And if Hank and I had a common enemy, would that make us friends? I briefly thought of kissing Hank on the ear before stopping to burn a cat in a tree.

Victor Vandido

After realizing the cloaked figure selling cologne and gold chains on the corner of Monroe and Elm was the same stranger who left me with the words "Get well soon"over three years ago, I grabbed my binoculars and made my way past the antique jewelry shop. He was gone! Was I losing my mind? 

It gets worse. The next day I was buying a pack of smokes at the mini mart, which is an essential part of my career, and they were out of the Hopscotch brand I usually buy so I had to get Don Quixotes (fictional world) and I was so upset I started cussing. Then I turned around and slammed into the strong sent of cologne and the dark fabric of the cloak and heard the words "God bless you" when I hadn't even sneezed. When I turned around to follow, he had disappeared into the aisles of liquor and other adult commodities. It was just then that I noticed I had left my driver's license at the counter, and when I returned for it, the cashier pulled out two; one was mine, and the other had a picture of the cloaked figure, his face covered, with the name "Victor Vandido" next to it. After a moment of wondering if he ever got carded, I stealthily grabbed both driver's licenses and hurried out the door. Who was this man who always seemed to know the most insulting thing to say, and why was he following me? Did this have something to do with Hank? 

Later, in the bathtub, I lit up a Don Quixote and began making a list of the strange things that had happened lately, hoping they would lead me to an answer:

1. Mr. Flup buys a gym membership

2. Someone writes the word "Tomorrow" in the dirt on my superhero car

3. The mini mart runs out of Hopscotches 

4. Victor Vandido reappears

It was an inconclusive list of unrelated events. Or was it?